you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
