Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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