is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize