I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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