why didn't you poke me back
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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