Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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