i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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