I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize