But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
