three words: i give head
three words: not that well
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
