i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
