is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
