If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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