Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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