5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
