Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
