we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
