All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So many bounce houses so little time
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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