sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize