I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
