whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
