He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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