I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
