3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
