Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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