The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
