Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We had to coat check the pizza.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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