chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
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KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
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The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i now understand why vodka
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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