Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
