we'll go far in life on tits alone.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
