so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
