So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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