One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
