If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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