ugly people sure do ruin things
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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