So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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