Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
wow bdsm is so cute
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
