Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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