There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
