In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
