I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
