Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize