...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
