I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
