Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i love accidental penises.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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