I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
