so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize