You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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