...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
