I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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