Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
