We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
