it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
