my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
