No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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