Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
