Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
