I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
