Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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