I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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