Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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