i think my mom watched the whole time
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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